Retreat

So Confirmation Retreat came and went. I'll be honest, I wasn't that excited for it before we left, although I tried to get the candidates excited about it. I just thought "Uuugghhh I have to give up my weekend for this? I have to do my homework early for this?" It ended up being a (big) blessing in disguise, however. I decided to do my homework for the next section in AP Physics early on Thursday since it was due on Monday and I wanted the Sunday afternoon to be peaceful and stress-free when I got back. It so happened that our quiz on Friday included material from the section I did early (why, I don't know, because Earnest's guide said it wasn't on that stuff), so I got lucky and was able to understand the problems on the quiz a little better. Still had to work through it, but definitely a blessing in disguise.

Confirmation retreat, once again, changed the way I look at life, especially the way I look at the people around me. It only reinforced my previous notions that people have much more to them than meets the eye. My group consisted of people I would never normally associate with outside of Confirmation classes, not because I don't want to, but because we just come from totally different worlds. A cheerleader, a wrestler, a football player, a guy with a hearing impairment, and another bando like me, as well as others... Who knew we could get so close? The instant common ground that religion can create between two or more people who otherwise have little in common astounds me. I feel like I got so close to these people, like some of the things they opened up and shared with me are things they've never told anybody else. I felt like a leader, like somebody who was worth looking up to. I think that's how they saw me, though the real me is pretty far from that. It's easy to assume that because I volunteer my times as a junior facilitator that I'm an ideal Catholic guy who goes to Mass every Sunday and who has no doubts in his faith. So not true. I hope they realize that I'm just like them, only a year or so older. There's really not that much different between us.

I also like how all of the people who went on retreat brought it back with them. Wearing the shirts, the necklaces, and saying "Hi!" to people I didn't even know I saw during the school day... It's just awesome. It kind of makes me regret being so shy for basically my whole life. Would I have been a happier person if I didn't have so many reservations about making new friends and being more outgoing? There's no use in regretting it now, though. There only possible solution is action, which I'm happy to say I've started to take. I force myself to talk to people I don't really know, and I have yet to be disappointed. I don't think there's any possible way to be disappointed, because the worst that could happen is that I find out that somebody is worse than I thought they were. And that's pretty rare, I think I have a pretty easy time seeing if somebody is generally good or not so good without having to know them too well.

I should ramble on while I'm on my caffeine high. I haven't had coffee in months, maybe a year, so it's working really well. I'll need it if I want to read Utopia tonight...

As March gets closer and closer, I'm getting even more excited about college. I honestly can't wait to start anew in a different city, wherever God wills me to go, and meet new people. I know exactly how a little bit of kindness can brighten somebody's day, no matter who it comes from. I think it's time that I return the favor because every good turn deserves another, right? Right.

I just realized that pharmacy, for now at least, really is the path I want to go down. During retreat, one of my friends in my small group wasn't feeling to great. Luckily I brought some Airborne with me and gave him some. I asked him how he was feeling later, and later again, and both times he said better than before. I know it's small, but that's basically what pharmacists do, right? Give people drugs (good ones) to make them feel better. It's sounds stupid, I know, but it really made me feel good about myself because I was able to help somebody when they needed it.

I really should start reading the second half of Utopia. I think I'm immune to senioritis. I decided yesterday not to read the first part though I knew it was due today, and I just used Sparknotes instead. During our discussion of the book this morning in class, what I learned from Sparknotes was more than sufficient for me to understand the main points of the novel and some of the underlying themes. But what's the first thing I do when I get home? Feel guilty and just read the first half anyways. Uuuuggghhh. I swear, academic "diligence" is a blessing and a curse. Guilt sucks. Alright that's enough rambling, I should go read before the caffeine goes away and I crash.