Sunday, May 25, 2008

Old times

Today was really reassuring. It showed me that even though I don't see my old friends as often as I would like to, when we do get back together it's like we picked up where we left off. Hanging out with Kristen, Becky, and Steph was really fun today. Yogurt World and helping victimes in Asia, what a great combo! Today made me feel better about myself too. On the way to Jernea's house to film our Filipino project, I saw a pizza delivery guy on the side of the road on his cell. At first I just passed him by, but then I decided to turn around and ask him if he was alright. He didn't need help, but I'm glad I offered my help. I forced myself to get over my shyness, yay!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Good times

I'm glad to say that I'm not wasting the precious time I have left in high school. Today was awesome, albeit cold. Started off slow, did nothing as usual in APEL. I didn't even bother to check out the book we went to get from the library since I didn't have my i.d. card on me, plus I'll just sparknote it anyways so it seems like I'm reading. AP Gov was interesting as always, even though we just watched and imax movie that had nothing to do with government or politics. That class makes me seriously consider looking into political science as a minor for college. Hmm. That would look unique, having psychobiology for my major and poli sci for my minor. It would work for me though, since I'm a very unique person.

Then what? Oh AP Physics final... or last half of what was supposed to remain. I didn't think it was too hard, but that may be a sign that I did something wrong and that it only seemed easy because I oversimplified it. Oh well. Band was eh. Sight reading is fun, but those songs weren't that interesting. Just funky marches. Then Filipino was relaxing as usual, just took a quiz (that I studied for five minutes prior haha) and random easy stuff. Uhhh... 6th off I just went home, rested a bit, then came back to school. It was still raining but Matt and Kevin still wanted to go to Yogurt World and so did I, so off we went. I used to make fun of them for getting the white flavors and they'd do the same to me for getting the Asian flavors, but we kind of switched today haha. Peanut butter with red beans and Texas cheesecake with mochi balls mmm. So I guess my cup was Wasian? Haha. Then we went to Chipotle and got our free burritos for being MC students. Pretty sweet. They must be in need of more business if they're willing to give out free burritos to high school kids. Or maybe they're trying to get us to make their restaurant a new high school hangout for the summer. Whatever, I'm not necessarily going back. It was an alright burrito, but nothing spectacular anyways. So then we went to Matt's gigantic house that screams "I come from a rich white Protestant home" and played Brawl. I PWNED MATT NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE. My life is complete! I had never been able to do that before. Granted, it was during a free-for-all. If it had been 1-on-1, he would've killed me easily. Actually one of the games I played was pretty much 1-on-1 since the two Kevins died really early.

Then I dropped off Kevin at his house, and I found out that the house my mom was looking into buying a couple of years ago was actually Matt's old house. Small world, huh? Ironically, my mom decided not to buy it because it was near a water main or something like that, and today it happened that a water thingie nearby was gushing water everywhere. Hmmm. Then we found out that Matt forgot to take out his baritone and backpack from my car so I had to drive all the way back to Poway to drop it off for him. He's lucky I'm such a nice guy!

And now I'm really cold. Time for a really hot shower.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Last Concert

My last orchestra and Wind I concert was last night. I thought I would get emotional, especially during E.T., but I didn't haha. Probably because we had a pretty... interesting concert in general. Whatevs. It was strange to begin with, since it was on a Wednesday and Wind II is in San Francisco still. So... There was nobody up top and the ground level wasn't even that full. Oh well. Even though I didn't practice the music at all (teehee), I think I did a pretty good job. And today I got a compliment from Torns. YESSSS. My life is complete. I can walk out of the band program knowing that my last note was a good one.

The concert made me think about whether or not I want to continue playing flute at UCLA. They have a pretty good program I'm sure, but I don't know if I want to dedicate my time to it anymore. Playing my instrument isn't necessarily fun for me, and I don't like practicing. At all. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. I stayed in band as long as I did because marching was really fun and the whole program shaped me into a much more confident and outgoing person. I will always be thankful for that, and for all of the friends I've made. Sooooo many of my friends are in band. At the same time, it's not my life. Well it's not anymore, at least haha. I'm not sure the symphonic band at UCLA will be very social. I mean, even Wind I alone isn't social. I met most of my friends through marching season, and since I'm sure I'm done marching... I don't know. I know I'll probably be super jealous of all of my non-senior friends by the time their marching season rolls around this year. Ugh. Oh well, as the saying goes, don't be sad it's over, be glad it happened.

I can't wait for band banquet. It didn't really mean anything more to me than just a big party at the end of the year for the past three years, but this one is going to be different. It really is a sending off and a conclusion to the single program that has been so important to me for the past four years. Maybe this is why it's so hard for people to quit smoking/drinking/drugs. The thought of not being involved with music, after so many years of doing it, is kind of scary. That being said, I'm not going to miss the music part, really. I enjoy listening to music more than performing it. I'm just scared of losing that common bond with all of my friends back home when I leave. But then again... in all honesty, I think it won't hurt so much since I'll be so immersed in the new world I'm going into. Aaahhhh here I go again, psyching myself out over going to college. I keep flip-flopping between being super excited and being nervous/anxious over leaving all of my friends here.

I started almost from scratch making friends going from Mesa Verde to Mt. Carmel since most of the Mesa Verde kids went to Westview, and the results have been spectacular. Who's to say it won't be even better at UCLA? Well I wouldn't say better, but at least the same kind of situation. I just need to find a new niche. I've always been a bando, a label for which I will always have affection. So what will I be in college? A study nerd? No, scratch that. That's not going to happen. Haha.

Ok now I'm psyching myself out more. Aaahhh. I just thought about how all of my friends here will forget about me. It's inevitable... but how often do I think of my friends who have graduated? Sure, I still love them. But it's just not the same, not seeing them everyday as I did before. Even the ones who still live close, like on my block close, are hard to keep up with. I still talk to certain people online and stuff, and we get together when they come back, but that's so occassional. Seeing somebody for at least an hour a day and maybe a couple of hours every month... what a change. And then I'll be replaced, as I've replaced them. Well not really replaced, because nobody can fill the place of a friend. But let's be realistic... people make new friends all of the time. And then they forget the ones who they don't see. It would be sad to try to change that. And kind of creepy too. When you leave high school, you're supposed to visit, but not too often, otherwise it looks like you're a creeper or somebody who can't let go. I'm so ready to let go of high school, but still not.

So I've basically said the same things I've been saying for months. Haha. I'll probably get emotional during band banquet, I can feel it. Can we just fast forward to that and graduation and summer and orientation and fall already?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

On a brighter note,

Yesterday was awesome. Didn't start out that way, but it sure ended that way.

So in the morning I had to help my dad with random shit that's a waste of my life. No surprises there. I was supposed to meet Chris early at the beach to go surfing but my stupid rooftop rack straps snapped so that was a no go. I picked up Kevin and we just brought our boogie boards. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because parking was horrendous at Moonlight Beach. We ended up parking (what Kevin called) a mile away, and as I got out of the car I just realized I parked right in front of a mortuary. Just my luck. Anyways, if I had to carry my monstrous 8'6" longboard all that distance I would have died.

So we got to the beach, found Chris, and went boogie boarding. The waves sucked. I caught one good one and that's pretty much it. More people came, yay. For some reason I can't remember the exact order of events, but it was pretty much just chillin at the beach and the water. The really fun stuff happened around sunset anyways...

So Taylor, Lara and I walk over to the volleyball courts where everybody is playing. There are a couple of little kids on the court which I thought was weird, and we just saw them kicking sand at Corey and other people. Alright... Somebody serves the volleyball, and BAM! Kevin spikes it right into one of the little brats' faces! And the other stupid girls are like "OMGGGG she has Down syndrome!" She did not. People with trisomy 21 have very distinctive facial features, none of which this girl showed. She was just plain retarded.

And of course, everybody's like oohhh snap. I'm pretty sure he didn't do it on purpose because he would need to have excellent aim and reflexes to be able to spike it into her face. She was alright, it just hit her on the temple/side of the head. So the other little girls are like "FUCK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!" and walk off. Everybody starts playing volleyball again. Then one of the little girls comes back and starts flipping us off some more and saying FU and whatnot. That's cute. Not. Then they leave, and come back, and I started filming since i had my camera on me haha. It's on YouTube, my username is pagadorq. Find it! It was some pretty stupid stuff. One little girl comes over and starts unbuttoning her vest and she's like "Wanna see a magic trick?" and we thought she was going to strip so we were pretty much all ready to barf. But no, she just flips the bird again and says fuck you some more. Alright. Then all the party people come over and basically surround the little girls who think they're so cool for flipping off high schoolers. We just talked to them, nothing violent. One claimed to be a freshman at LCC, but another one ratted her out. Haha stupid. Blah blah blah more stupid girls talking. Then we left because they got boring in addition to ugly.

It was prettttty funny. "Wanna see a magic trick?" will appear so many times during band banquet for sure...

Lara asked me for a ride home, so we headed back to my car. I thought I was going the right way, but apparently forgot to take a turn haha. After getting lost, I decided to ask an old guy jogging if he knew how to get onto Melrose. He said he'd walk us over. How nice of him! I bet Lara thought she was going to get raped, but he was in the viagra-dependent age group, so no worries there. We got home alright, and even before 11. Woo.

If I had the time, I would plan like 5 bonfires over the summer. They're so fun! I hope other people do it though. I have to enjoy my last summer in San Diego!

I dont think so

Now they want me to give up my summer? Yeah right. That's not happening. This is my last summer in San Diego and I'm going to spend it with my friends because i hate my family. Why couldn't I have a normal, not stupid family? Whatever. After September I'll be free to ignore them as I please. I can't wait.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Easier to be

Life is going well. I only have to worry about AP Physics (nothing new) and then I can stop caring, officially.

I love my friends. They constantly remind me that they're the kind of people I've wanted to know for so long. I can be myself, totally and completely, without being afraid. They've proven me wrong, they've prove me right, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Still super excited for Ucla. I can throw myself out there and get involved and just enjoy life. Even though my parents pay basically no attention to me, I still anticipate "throwing off the yoke". They never know what I'm up to, but there's always that small chance that they might hear about it somehow. I'm not saying I do anything bad, I just bend the truth once in a while to get away from them. I won't have to worry about that in college. Yay!

Friday, May 2, 2008


My dad is a fucking retard. He thinks he can take up all of my weekends to do stupid labor around the house to get it ready to sell by June. Yeah, that's going to happen. My weekends are for me, not for him to use me. I'll be sure to let him know how I feel when he feels my full resistance to anything he asks. He has the nerve to say he needs my two hands and smart brain between my ears. Oooh, that's a first. I'm smart to him. Only when he needs me to do shit for him.

I thought he really might have turned a new leaf as he said he would after Roxy died, but I see that's not happening. As I thought, it was too good to be true. I think I'm going to start buying Lotto tickets. If I win, I can buy my way out of this hellhole and out of his reach.