Where do I start?

I have so, so much to blog about. A lot of things have happened to me since my last post, and I mean a lot.

They said that college is hard. They're right. College is a bitch and a half. I studied my ass off for two weeks, TWO WEEKS for my chemistry midterm last Tuesday. I did all of the past midterms, did all of the homework, everything. I have never studied for a test so hard in my life, literally. Come midterm day, I'm feeling pretty good. I take the midterm, and... what the fuck. There's random ass stuff on there I didn't even think about studying. I made stupid mistakes that I know cost me big points. But you know what really takes the bitchy cake? Ok, so I'm also enrolled in chem honors because I didn't think it would be that big a deal. I thought I could handle it. I knew my honors shit, and I knew it well. After I go through the midterm a second time, I get to the honors questions at the back. The TAs call out the 2 minute warning. I find that I skipped an entire page of honors questions. What. The. Fuck. I throw down my answers as fast as I can, just trying to get partial credit. I didn't finish in it, but I kept working until a TA specifically told me to stop. I was shaking, that's how bad it was. I won't know my grades until next Wednesday, and I totally could still get an A in the class if I aced everything. That's highly, highly unlikely, but still. It's good to know, I guess.

So far, my experience in chemistry has drastically changed what I want to do with my life, and made me realize my faulty reasoning behind what I had previously wanted to do with my life. I thought I was good in chemistry. And truth be told, I still think I have the capacity to understand it fairly well, I really do. I just can't see myself doing this for another quarter, let alone the rest of my life if I become a pharmacist. I always thought my forte was in the sciences and math. I pwned in bio, chem, physics, calc in high school. But college is different... Here, if you don't like what you're doing, no matter how hard you try, it's not going to be as easy as if you like what you're doing. I've experienced that firsthand. I fooled myself into thinking that I like math and the sciences just because I was good at them. Being good at a subject and liking a subject are two completely different things. I honestly don't want anything to do with math or "hard" sciences anymore as far as taking classes goes.

I decided to change my major to Psychology. My Psych 10 class is amazing. It's so entertaining, and I look forward to reading and going to lecture, moreso than I've ever looked forward to anything school related. It intrigues me so much. I got a 48/50 on my midterm, which I'm very, very proud of because I studied my ass off for that too, and it actually paid off. The best part about the psychology major is that, after this quarter, I'm done with chemistry. Forever. I don't have to take any calculus classes. The only math class I have to take is stats, which, according to reviews on bruinwalk.com, is ridiculously easy. My only physics class is going to be watered down physics for people who don't like physics. The rest of the requirements are soooo interesting sounding! Intro to human evolution, the philosophy of the mind, etc... I'm really excited to get into those classes. I wish now that they offered more classes like that in high school, because I totally would have taken them. Had psychology not been a bullshit class at Mt. Carmel, I would've been down for it.

Alright, I have to cut this short. I'm off to my last midterm for interracial dynamics, which I'm feeling really good about. There's still a lot I have on my mind, but I'll save that for later.