Unload

Ok, I can't say I didn't except to see this coming. I have some things I have to get off of my chest.

I took my first chemistry quiz earlier today. I don't feel I did well on it at all. The reasons I came up with for my failure to succeed are:
~I did not recognize all of the material I had available to review with
~I lulled myself into a false sense of security by assuming the quiz was exactly like the practice quiz
~I was plain not prepared well enough

I knew college was difficult, I've been told that several times. So far, I thought I was adjusting well and that everything was going smoothly. It had been, truthfully. But this is my reality check... things aren't as easy as I want them to be. Luckily for me, my chemistry class is structured to grant a second chance to people like me who didn't know what to expect. If I get 40/40 on the prep quizzes, that 40/40 will replace my lowest quiz score. I'm expecting a 25/40 at least on this first quiz. Looking at this situation from an optimist's view, I'm getting more bang for my buck! Haha there it is, I found my optimism.

After I realized how stupid I was, I beat myself up over it. This problem was a simple plug-in, that one problem was much simpler than I made it out to be, blah blah. Yeah, I'll be the first to admit that my performance on that quiz was probably the worst I have ever performed on any examination. It was downright dreadful. It will probably haunt me until the end of the quarter when I find out my real score, since the scores will be adjusted for the class averages. But you know, why can't I put a positive spin on this? I know what to expect now, and I recognize the various materials available to help me that I did not recognize before. Is there a reason I shouldn't get two 40/40 scores on the remaining quizzes, and ace the midterm and final? No, I can do it. I'm not saying I'm going to or that it's likely to happen, but I just really need to reassure myself that though I've fallen, there's still hope to get back up to speed.

I can do this. College is hard, but I think I've done a fairly decent job in my life so far to prove that I am a hard worker. I can do this, I will succeed. I will try to get that 4.0 first quarter, but if not, let this be the testament to say that I tried.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

I'm off to do chemistry homework. I'm going to put the ho in gung-ho!