Here's some application from my psych 10 class. Amygdala is Greek for almond. It's a part of our brains that's associated with fear, as well as smell. I can smell the fires. Due to context-dependent learning, it's easier to remember things when you're in the same environmental conditions as when you encoded the memory. I'm getting apprehensive now...
Oh well, it's partying and clubbing for me tonight!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Where do I start?
I have so, so much to blog about. A lot of things have happened to me since my last post, and I mean a lot.
They said that college is hard. They're right. College is a bitch and a half. I studied my ass off for two weeks, TWO WEEKS for my chemistry midterm last Tuesday. I did all of the past midterms, did all of the homework, everything. I have never studied for a test so hard in my life, literally. Come midterm day, I'm feeling pretty good. I take the midterm, and... what the fuck. There's random ass stuff on there I didn't even think about studying. I made stupid mistakes that I know cost me big points. But you know what really takes the bitchy cake? Ok, so I'm also enrolled in chem honors because I didn't think it would be that big a deal. I thought I could handle it. I knew my honors shit, and I knew it well. After I go through the midterm a second time, I get to the honors questions at the back. The TAs call out the 2 minute warning. I find that I skipped an entire page of honors questions. What. The. Fuck. I throw down my answers as fast as I can, just trying to get partial credit. I didn't finish in it, but I kept working until a TA specifically told me to stop. I was shaking, that's how bad it was. I won't know my grades until next Wednesday, and I totally could still get an A in the class if I aced everything. That's highly, highly unlikely, but still. It's good to know, I guess.
So far, my experience in chemistry has drastically changed what I want to do with my life, and made me realize my faulty reasoning behind what I had previously wanted to do with my life. I thought I was good in chemistry. And truth be told, I still think I have the capacity to understand it fairly well, I really do. I just can't see myself doing this for another quarter, let alone the rest of my life if I become a pharmacist. I always thought my forte was in the sciences and math. I pwned in bio, chem, physics, calc in high school. But college is different... Here, if you don't like what you're doing, no matter how hard you try, it's not going to be as easy as if you like what you're doing. I've experienced that firsthand. I fooled myself into thinking that I like math and the sciences just because I was good at them. Being good at a subject and liking a subject are two completely different things. I honestly don't want anything to do with math or "hard" sciences anymore as far as taking classes goes.
I decided to change my major to Psychology. My Psych 10 class is amazing. It's so entertaining, and I look forward to reading and going to lecture, moreso than I've ever looked forward to anything school related. It intrigues me so much. I got a 48/50 on my midterm, which I'm very, very proud of because I studied my ass off for that too, and it actually paid off. The best part about the psychology major is that, after this quarter, I'm done with chemistry. Forever. I don't have to take any calculus classes. The only math class I have to take is stats, which, according to reviews on bruinwalk.com, is ridiculously easy. My only physics class is going to be watered down physics for people who don't like physics. The rest of the requirements are soooo interesting sounding! Intro to human evolution, the philosophy of the mind, etc... I'm really excited to get into those classes. I wish now that they offered more classes like that in high school, because I totally would have taken them. Had psychology not been a bullshit class at Mt. Carmel, I would've been down for it.
Alright, I have to cut this short. I'm off to my last midterm for interracial dynamics, which I'm feeling really good about. There's still a lot I have on my mind, but I'll save that for later.
They said that college is hard. They're right. College is a bitch and a half. I studied my ass off for two weeks, TWO WEEKS for my chemistry midterm last Tuesday. I did all of the past midterms, did all of the homework, everything. I have never studied for a test so hard in my life, literally. Come midterm day, I'm feeling pretty good. I take the midterm, and... what the fuck. There's random ass stuff on there I didn't even think about studying. I made stupid mistakes that I know cost me big points. But you know what really takes the bitchy cake? Ok, so I'm also enrolled in chem honors because I didn't think it would be that big a deal. I thought I could handle it. I knew my honors shit, and I knew it well. After I go through the midterm a second time, I get to the honors questions at the back. The TAs call out the 2 minute warning. I find that I skipped an entire page of honors questions. What. The. Fuck. I throw down my answers as fast as I can, just trying to get partial credit. I didn't finish in it, but I kept working until a TA specifically told me to stop. I was shaking, that's how bad it was. I won't know my grades until next Wednesday, and I totally could still get an A in the class if I aced everything. That's highly, highly unlikely, but still. It's good to know, I guess.
So far, my experience in chemistry has drastically changed what I want to do with my life, and made me realize my faulty reasoning behind what I had previously wanted to do with my life. I thought I was good in chemistry. And truth be told, I still think I have the capacity to understand it fairly well, I really do. I just can't see myself doing this for another quarter, let alone the rest of my life if I become a pharmacist. I always thought my forte was in the sciences and math. I pwned in bio, chem, physics, calc in high school. But college is different... Here, if you don't like what you're doing, no matter how hard you try, it's not going to be as easy as if you like what you're doing. I've experienced that firsthand. I fooled myself into thinking that I like math and the sciences just because I was good at them. Being good at a subject and liking a subject are two completely different things. I honestly don't want anything to do with math or "hard" sciences anymore as far as taking classes goes.
I decided to change my major to Psychology. My Psych 10 class is amazing. It's so entertaining, and I look forward to reading and going to lecture, moreso than I've ever looked forward to anything school related. It intrigues me so much. I got a 48/50 on my midterm, which I'm very, very proud of because I studied my ass off for that too, and it actually paid off. The best part about the psychology major is that, after this quarter, I'm done with chemistry. Forever. I don't have to take any calculus classes. The only math class I have to take is stats, which, according to reviews on bruinwalk.com, is ridiculously easy. My only physics class is going to be watered down physics for people who don't like physics. The rest of the requirements are soooo interesting sounding! Intro to human evolution, the philosophy of the mind, etc... I'm really excited to get into those classes. I wish now that they offered more classes like that in high school, because I totally would have taken them. Had psychology not been a bullshit class at Mt. Carmel, I would've been down for it.
Alright, I have to cut this short. I'm off to my last midterm for interracial dynamics, which I'm feeling really good about. There's still a lot I have on my mind, but I'll save that for later.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Homecoming
Here I am, sitting in my old room that really isn't mine anymore. There's the stuff I left behind, but my parents changed it around and it doesn't feel personal anymore. Is this my home or is UCLA my home now? I can't tell.
When I arrived last night, I was so happy to see everything that's familiar to me, and to experience the same old things I used to. I woke up the same way this morning. Right now, however, I remember why I wanted to get away from this place. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I'm very tired of my old routine. I'm glad to not be living here permanently, but that doesn't mean I don't love San Diego. I have two homes now I guess, I just like one more than the other haha. Alright time to read for Interracial Dynamics then get to bed...
P.S. I achieved the freshman -5 since school started. Yessss.
When I arrived last night, I was so happy to see everything that's familiar to me, and to experience the same old things I used to. I woke up the same way this morning. Right now, however, I remember why I wanted to get away from this place. It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I'm very tired of my old routine. I'm glad to not be living here permanently, but that doesn't mean I don't love San Diego. I have two homes now I guess, I just like one more than the other haha. Alright time to read for Interracial Dynamics then get to bed...
P.S. I achieved the freshman -5 since school started. Yessss.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Bait
Looking back, that was just one of those days. I haven't felt that depressed and disappointed in myself in a very long time. I'm glad it happened though, because it reminds me that life isn't all fluffiness and pretty pictures. Sometimes you do stupid things without thinking about them.
Sometimes stupid things happen to you for no reason, either. I was so happy for a couple of hours that day, and it seemed to make my earlier disappoints just disappear. But then I was met with more disappointment and it just made my day all the more horrible.
I still haven't reached that one goal I set over the summer. I have time, it's only Week 3, but still... I'm just thinking about how much easier life would be if I could reach it, you know? I was so close to get started on it that day... At least I fooled myself into believing so. Oh well, I just have to stay positive and know that it'll come with time.
Sometimes stupid things happen to you for no reason, either. I was so happy for a couple of hours that day, and it seemed to make my earlier disappoints just disappear. But then I was met with more disappointment and it just made my day all the more horrible.
I still haven't reached that one goal I set over the summer. I have time, it's only Week 3, but still... I'm just thinking about how much easier life would be if I could reach it, you know? I was so close to get started on it that day... At least I fooled myself into believing so. Oh well, I just have to stay positive and know that it'll come with time.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Unload
Ok, I can't say I didn't except to see this coming. I have some things I have to get off of my chest.
I took my first chemistry quiz earlier today. I don't feel I did well on it at all. The reasons I came up with for my failure to succeed are:
~I did not recognize all of the material I had available to review with
~I lulled myself into a false sense of security by assuming the quiz was exactly like the practice quiz
~I was plain not prepared well enough
I knew college was difficult, I've been told that several times. So far, I thought I was adjusting well and that everything was going smoothly. It had been, truthfully. But this is my reality check... things aren't as easy as I want them to be. Luckily for me, my chemistry class is structured to grant a second chance to people like me who didn't know what to expect. If I get 40/40 on the prep quizzes, that 40/40 will replace my lowest quiz score. I'm expecting a 25/40 at least on this first quiz. Looking at this situation from an optimist's view, I'm getting more bang for my buck! Haha there it is, I found my optimism.
After I realized how stupid I was, I beat myself up over it. This problem was a simple plug-in, that one problem was much simpler than I made it out to be, blah blah. Yeah, I'll be the first to admit that my performance on that quiz was probably the worst I have ever performed on any examination. It was downright dreadful. It will probably haunt me until the end of the quarter when I find out my real score, since the scores will be adjusted for the class averages. But you know, why can't I put a positive spin on this? I know what to expect now, and I recognize the various materials available to help me that I did not recognize before. Is there a reason I shouldn't get two 40/40 scores on the remaining quizzes, and ace the midterm and final? No, I can do it. I'm not saying I'm going to or that it's likely to happen, but I just really need to reassure myself that though I've fallen, there's still hope to get back up to speed.
I can do this. College is hard, but I think I've done a fairly decent job in my life so far to prove that I am a hard worker. I can do this, I will succeed. I will try to get that 4.0 first quarter, but if not, let this be the testament to say that I tried.
It's always darkest before the dawn.
I'm off to do chemistry homework. I'm going to put the ho in gung-ho!
I took my first chemistry quiz earlier today. I don't feel I did well on it at all. The reasons I came up with for my failure to succeed are:
~I did not recognize all of the material I had available to review with
~I lulled myself into a false sense of security by assuming the quiz was exactly like the practice quiz
~I was plain not prepared well enough
I knew college was difficult, I've been told that several times. So far, I thought I was adjusting well and that everything was going smoothly. It had been, truthfully. But this is my reality check... things aren't as easy as I want them to be. Luckily for me, my chemistry class is structured to grant a second chance to people like me who didn't know what to expect. If I get 40/40 on the prep quizzes, that 40/40 will replace my lowest quiz score. I'm expecting a 25/40 at least on this first quiz. Looking at this situation from an optimist's view, I'm getting more bang for my buck! Haha there it is, I found my optimism.
After I realized how stupid I was, I beat myself up over it. This problem was a simple plug-in, that one problem was much simpler than I made it out to be, blah blah. Yeah, I'll be the first to admit that my performance on that quiz was probably the worst I have ever performed on any examination. It was downright dreadful. It will probably haunt me until the end of the quarter when I find out my real score, since the scores will be adjusted for the class averages. But you know, why can't I put a positive spin on this? I know what to expect now, and I recognize the various materials available to help me that I did not recognize before. Is there a reason I shouldn't get two 40/40 scores on the remaining quizzes, and ace the midterm and final? No, I can do it. I'm not saying I'm going to or that it's likely to happen, but I just really need to reassure myself that though I've fallen, there's still hope to get back up to speed.
I can do this. College is hard, but I think I've done a fairly decent job in my life so far to prove that I am a hard worker. I can do this, I will succeed. I will try to get that 4.0 first quarter, but if not, let this be the testament to say that I tried.
It's always darkest before the dawn.
I'm off to do chemistry homework. I'm going to put the ho in gung-ho!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Waiting
I'm just waiting for Jessica to finish getting ready so we can go down to brunch, so... let me tell you about my day yesterday. Umm... what happened first? Oh yeah I woke up around 9:00, got ready, then went down to breakfast at 9:45. I hate how the dining hall doesn't open until 9:30 on weekends. I'm totally a breakfast person, it's probably my favorite meal of the day. For the past few days I've been getting two biscuits with a drizzle of honey. Mmmm. I don't think I could get tired of that. Anyways, after I got that beezy Regan up, we were off to Westwood. We went to Urban Outfitters because she wanted a new shirt for a party that night. I was her fashion advisor, you could say. It was totally gay. I was happy haha.
Lunch was an interesting event. We were going to eat at this French cafe and feel like swanky college students, but the line was really long and the place was packed so we decided to try it another time. We went to Damon & Pythias next... sounds Greek, right? It wasn't. It was just a regular sandwich shop. So we went next door to Falafel King, thinking Middle Eastern food was sounding good just about then. It SUCKED. $8.00 for a freaking sandwich which was bland and/or chalky and definitely gross. I don't see how that place stays in business. I got water in a cup because I didn't want to buy bottled, which was also a mistake. Water should not have a distinct taste. After 3 bites I was done with that garbage, so we went to Diddy Riese instead. A quarter of the price and an infinite times better quality in a $1.50 ice cream sandwich. Chocolate chip cookies + cookie dough ice cream = bliss.
Afterwards I got back and took a nap for a bit... then went down to Ackerman to buy my dinner in advance because I didn't want to get ripped off at the football game again. I was happy because I found that they have my favorite healthy muffins! I also got a Luna Bar. That's right, I ignored the fact that it's "for women". Take that, advertising companies. I don't adhere to the gender discrimination in your strategies. After that I went to line up at the buses because I needed to get an extra ticket because I didn't know you had to buy them by Thursday. I met some new friends in line and we were lucky enough to get on a bus. Boring ride over. Luna Bars are not only sexist but don't taste very good.
The game was exciting! We finally won! I met up with Jessica, Kyle, Vasko, and a new dude, Zishan, but we were sitting much further back than before. The spirit was definitely dampened in that area. I was still cheering and chanting, but it was disappointing after being in the middle of all of the excitement at the last game. Oh well. After the game we piled into Jessica's roommate's car, which was not a good idea at all. My legs started falling asleep and we were all jammed in the back. I got through it because I imagined it was somebody else's arm around me hahaha. Then we went to Diddy Riese... my third time in a day, but I only bought a sandwich once, so yay me. We walked back, I took a shower, went to sleep, and here I am. Hurry up Jessica! Gosh. I'm starving.
Lunch was an interesting event. We were going to eat at this French cafe and feel like swanky college students, but the line was really long and the place was packed so we decided to try it another time. We went to Damon & Pythias next... sounds Greek, right? It wasn't. It was just a regular sandwich shop. So we went next door to Falafel King, thinking Middle Eastern food was sounding good just about then. It SUCKED. $8.00 for a freaking sandwich which was bland and/or chalky and definitely gross. I don't see how that place stays in business. I got water in a cup because I didn't want to buy bottled, which was also a mistake. Water should not have a distinct taste. After 3 bites I was done with that garbage, so we went to Diddy Riese instead. A quarter of the price and an infinite times better quality in a $1.50 ice cream sandwich. Chocolate chip cookies + cookie dough ice cream = bliss.
Afterwards I got back and took a nap for a bit... then went down to Ackerman to buy my dinner in advance because I didn't want to get ripped off at the football game again. I was happy because I found that they have my favorite healthy muffins! I also got a Luna Bar. That's right, I ignored the fact that it's "for women". Take that, advertising companies. I don't adhere to the gender discrimination in your strategies. After that I went to line up at the buses because I needed to get an extra ticket because I didn't know you had to buy them by Thursday. I met some new friends in line and we were lucky enough to get on a bus. Boring ride over. Luna Bars are not only sexist but don't taste very good.
The game was exciting! We finally won! I met up with Jessica, Kyle, Vasko, and a new dude, Zishan, but we were sitting much further back than before. The spirit was definitely dampened in that area. I was still cheering and chanting, but it was disappointing after being in the middle of all of the excitement at the last game. Oh well. After the game we piled into Jessica's roommate's car, which was not a good idea at all. My legs started falling asleep and we were all jammed in the back. I got through it because I imagined it was somebody else's arm around me hahaha. Then we went to Diddy Riese... my third time in a day, but I only bought a sandwich once, so yay me. We walked back, I took a shower, went to sleep, and here I am. Hurry up Jessica! Gosh. I'm starving.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sheltered
Since coming to college, I've come to realize how sheltered of a life I've lived so far. One of my roommates called me a farmer because I wake up early, and I came to realize that he's right. Like, really right. I thought it was the norm for everybody to sleep at 11:00 normally, wake up at 6:00 normally, eat breakfast, then get to the gym or start working on something. Apparently, the norm is to stay up until 2:00, wake up at 10:00, and study late at night. I'm talking about weekends, by the way. I was SO tired after the game yesterday, so I went to sleep at like 10:30. Lame, I know. I woke up at 7:30 and I thought that was it for me, but my roommates were still asleep and I didn't want to wake them up on accident and I have the liberty to just lay in bed, so I went back to lay in bed. I ended up falling asleep again and woke up at 9:15, which gave me around 10 hours of sleep. It felt good. I felt like I lost my whole morning, though.
Today was a chill study day. After breakfast, I went to the gym to do my sprints. I don't really like the machine I used, but I had no other choice since the others were taken... whatever, its not like I don't get enough sustained cardio walking up and down the hills, not to mention up and down six flights of stairs anytime I want to leave my floor. I only get 2 swipes for brunch/dinner on weekends, so I went to Jamba Juice for lunch. It was fun to just sit there in the citrus lounges or whatever they're called and just people watch and text people back home and away at other schools. Afterwards I went to Powell and worked on chemistry homework/psych reading and notes. It's DEAD quiet in there, so it was perfect. The time kind of flew by, and I ended up working in there for upwards of three hours straight. Not bad. It got kind of boring in the middle because there was nobody there, but whatever. Come to think of it, I was surprised by how dead campus was in general. When there's classes, Bruin Walk and basically every place is packed with people. Today, nobody. I kind of liked it, but it felt lonely since it's such a big area. Whatever, it's just the weekends.
Dinner was SOOOO funny. I went down with my friend Hedy (she's so cute!) and we just heard the weirdest shit and had the funniest conversations. I don't want to put it all down because I'm tired and it won't be funny to you since it's an inside joke anyways, but trust me, it was funny as hell. Yeah now I'm tired already... I'm doing laundry for the first time in college though! Yay for that.
Today was a chill study day. After breakfast, I went to the gym to do my sprints. I don't really like the machine I used, but I had no other choice since the others were taken... whatever, its not like I don't get enough sustained cardio walking up and down the hills, not to mention up and down six flights of stairs anytime I want to leave my floor. I only get 2 swipes for brunch/dinner on weekends, so I went to Jamba Juice for lunch. It was fun to just sit there in the citrus lounges or whatever they're called and just people watch and text people back home and away at other schools. Afterwards I went to Powell and worked on chemistry homework/psych reading and notes. It's DEAD quiet in there, so it was perfect. The time kind of flew by, and I ended up working in there for upwards of three hours straight. Not bad. It got kind of boring in the middle because there was nobody there, but whatever. Come to think of it, I was surprised by how dead campus was in general. When there's classes, Bruin Walk and basically every place is packed with people. Today, nobody. I kind of liked it, but it felt lonely since it's such a big area. Whatever, it's just the weekends.
Dinner was SOOOO funny. I went down with my friend Hedy (she's so cute!) and we just heard the weirdest shit and had the funniest conversations. I don't want to put it all down because I'm tired and it won't be funny to you since it's an inside joke anyways, but trust me, it was funny as hell. Yeah now I'm tired already... I'm doing laundry for the first time in college though! Yay for that.
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